It's time to stop living this lie.
I talk a lot about the lie of rugged individualism.
You know, the deeply mistaken idea that success comes to extraordinary individuals,
“going it alone” and “pulling up by the bootstraps” etc.
via GIPHY
I mostly focus on the harm wrought by the delusion of individualism,
but today, I want to focus on the “rugged” piece, because I'm seeing how it's hurting me & my clients & my beloveds.
Sweethearts.
Here we are:
two and a half years into an unprecedented pandemic
war raging in Ukraine
famine raging in Somalia
cartels raging in Mexico
heatwaves raging across the planet.
And in the United States,
hearings about the attempted coup on Jan 6
the bodily autonomy of uterus-havers stripped away
(by “justices” accused of sexual assault, no less)
the right to carry a concealed weapon restored
(in the aftermath of Uvalde, no less).
Oh and also please add to this the challenges you and your beloveds are facing.
whewwwwwwwww
I pause as I list all of this, TBH.
I'm compelled to send you a smile, to keep my message light and lovely.
I'm believing, for a moment, that I must keep my focus on the power we have, rather than the challenges we face.
But here's where, I think, the “rugged” part of rugged individualism really fucks us up.
Because you know what?
For many of us, this feels like too much, because IT IS TOO MUCH.
Because you know what?
We are - so many of us - trying to press on, to do Business As Usual, when our circumstances are, in this moment, unusually fucking hard.
And because you know what?
When we're so damn tired, or craving escape, or avoiding the news, or having trouble sleeping or focusing,
rugged individualism would have us blame and shame ourselves, for not sucking it up, and rising to the challenges.
I just can't believe this is helpful.
This pretending everything is fine, when everything is really not fine.
What if, instead,
we allowed ourselves to acknowledge the Too Muchness of this moment?
What if we gave ourselves more time and space and support for our doings, and more permission and compassion for our beings?
What if we refused to live the humanity-denying lie of rugged individualism?
What kind of collective could we become?
There's only one way to find out,
and it begins with you, and me, and you, and me,
slowing down to tread more tenderly. Today.