Needy is the new empowered.

Here's something I notice about My People

(who are badass, generous, feminist world-changers):

We need more than we want to need.

via GIPHY

I see this as a shadow side of late 20th century white feminism:

the personal agency pendulum swung way too far.

That is:

we aren't dependent, we're fully INdependent!

we aren't helpless, we're so powerful we don't need help! RAWRR!

These are versions of the (white dominant, patriarchal) lie of Individualism.

That lie says that if you're smart enough

disciplined enough

strong enough

good enough

you'll be self-made

You won't need anyone or anything

to help you solve problems,

or give you support.

Let's be real, though:

here on Planet Earth, we ALL have problems 

and we ALL need support.

And none of us

NONE OF US

makes it “on our own.”

Trying to do so is exhausting and demoralizing.

It keeps us tired, wired, spread way too thin,

juggling way way WAY too many balls

and blaming ourselves for every one we drop.

*

Now

what I see, in myself and in many of my clients and friends,

is that while we may be willing to receive a little here and there,

we need more than we want to need.

More rest.

More space.

More care.

More love.

More pleasure.

More help.

Here's what else I see: 

the more we explore and embrace and communicate our needs, 

the more powerfully we show up in the collective

I know this because I'm living it.

*

So.

Which of the balls you're juggling would you love to hand to someone else?

What kind of support are you yearning for?

Where would embracing your neediness feel like sweet relief?

Every little step you take toward getting your true needs met

moves our whole collective forward.

LEMME REPEAT:

Every little step you take

toward getting your true needs met

moves our whole collective forward.

Look here,

I'm walking right beside you.