I love work.

Last week I went on vacation, and (re) discovered what I always do:

I love work.

You heard it:

Thus,

while I'm vacationing somewhere uniquely beautiful,

I'll be scoping out how I might offer a retreat there.

When I'm enjoying a spacious holiday morning,

my mind whittles away at a new program I'm creating.

Now:

since I've been carefully, patriarchally trained

to see any and all of my desires and tendencies as problematic

I usually condemn this whole Love to Work impulse.

I'll ask:

What's wrong with me? I'm on VACATION!

I'll echo an ex's exasperation:

Jesus, why can't you JUST RELAX?

I'll declare:

You've internalized capitalism,

and you only feel good when you're being productive.

If you, too, are a feminist who loves to work,

you know this particular line of self-flagellation.

Anyway:

these days, I'm not so into self-criticism anymore.

I have a self-lover who answers:

There's nothing wrong with me.

I CAN relax.

In fact, relaxing is what has opened this creative workspace.

And of course I've internalized capitalist values - how could I avoid it?

But I can trust that the work I do is good, and generous,

and that it helps people.

*

Turning away from self-criticism,

I can be curious.

I can notice:

Just as I integrate work into my holiday,

so too do I integrate holiday into my everyday “work” life.

I don't seem to require authorized blocks of time for relaxing.

(I write this letter on Sundays, after all!)

And - a wonderful thing -

I love work.

What a relief:

to stop criticizing

get curious

and let myself be who I am.

My friend,

where in your life

are you ready for the same?

Needy is the new empowered.

Time for a trust fall?