A Spell for Setting High-Quality Goals

You’ve probably been told there’s one best way to set attainable goals.

It’s built on a rigid, quantitative paradigm that works for some people.

I am absolutely not one of them, and I bet you aren’t, either.

Here’s a goal-setting system for the rest of us,

who aren’t motivated by numbers,

but are inspired by meaning, values, and the difference our goals make in the world.

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Mentioned:

Episode 20 of Mind Witchery will help you start to harness growth mindset.

Make M.A.G.I.C.:

We’ve collected reflection questions for each bit of M.A.G.I.C. Join our email list and you’ll be taken right to the Set MAGIC Goals worksheet.

Transcript:

Natalie Miller: Welcome to Mind Witchery. I’m your host, Natalie Miller, and I’m so glad you’re here. 

Hello, my friend. Oh, my gosh. Happy new year. I’m so glad that you are here with me today. I have to say I am giving myself such a long, spacious on-ramp into 2022. I am not in a hurry with my intentions. I’m not in a hurry with my goal-setting. I’m not in a hurry to get started, and that feels so right and good for me. So, if you are with me, I hope you are also enjoying this. And if you have bursts of energy, and you’re diving right into the new year, then, yay, I love that for you too.

Something that I do a lot of in my work is help my clients to explore and to embrace a way of approaching life and work that really is best for them. And in this process, what I’ve discovered is that many of the people who are excited to work with me, they are very creative. They’re very intuitive. They’re very responsive to the world around them. 

And while they have big goals, they have things that they really want to make happen in the world, they also don’t want to participate in hustle culture. They don’t want to contribute to a way of being that is obsessed with productivity, with speed, with bigger, better, faster, more. My clients tend to be people that want to live and work in a way that is sustainable, that is humane, that allows them to center their own health and well-being, that allows them to spend time doing things like cooking, like being with their families. So, not just resting Saturday and Sunday afternoons, but having lives that feature and center and give plenty of time and space and resources for living well. 

Now, of course, the world that we live in together, late-stage capitalism in the 21st century, it does not make it easy for anyone, really, to center well-being and sustainability and caregiving and health and wellness. Our world just isn’t really set up for that. Our world is set up for maintaining systems of power. So, our world is set up for keeping capitalism going, for keeping white dominance going, for keeping patriarchal dominance going.

It’s a world that is very interested in the quantitative, very interested in the numbers, very interested in the data. And there’s nothing wrong with that, but it is imbalanced. It’s imbalanced because the world does not seem to be as invested in the qualities, in values, in feelings. And, for me, for many, many of my people, qualities, values, feelings, there is so much power there, much more so for many of us than in the numbers, the measurements, the percentages, the profits.

So, this affects us in ways large and small, and it manifests in malevolent ways but then also in seemingly innocuous ways. And the way that I’d like to zoom into today, something that I’ve worked with many clients on and that I myself work with, is our way of setting goals. So, I mentioned this in my last episode in A Spell for Potent Beginnings. I talked about the importance of values and vibes of the qualitative, and I busted a little bit the idea of SMART goals. 

So, I don’t know if you’ve heard of SMART goals or not, but SMART goals—this is a way that many of us, including my children at school, are taught to set goals. SMART is an acronym. The “S” is for Specific. You should be specific about your goal. The “M” is for Measurable. Again, I want you to see there’s a quantitative emphasis here. Measure it. So, you know, how many pounds will you lose or how many pounds will you lift or how much money will you make? How will you measure it?

The “A” is for Actionable, so you want the goal—you want to be able to take actions, specific actions on the goals right away, immediately. The “R” is for Realistic, so you want to check in and make sure that your goal is not too lofty; that it can happen in reality. And I just want you to pause and remember, reality has lots of systems of oppression and systems of power in play. So, when you keep your goals realistic, you keep them functioning within all those systems. Right? I mean, I know it’s not meant that way, but that’s an effect of it. 

OK. So, finally, the “T” is Time-bound—Time-bound. So, make sure that you put a deadline on your goal. Make sure that you have a very specific timeline for the goal. So, I am certain that this way of setting goals works for lots of people. It does not work for me. It has never worked for me. And I think that is partly because I don’t give a fuck about most quantities, about how much money, how many clients, how many pounds. 

What I really care about is how I feel. What I really care about is the impact I make. And, yes, of course, I would love to measure that. But the means of measuring that are not so quantitative. They’re more qualitative. 

So, if I’m beginning a year, and I’m setting goals for my business, for example, or for this podcast, it does not help me or inspire me to think in quantitative terms. That is, I don’t want to say, “I will record 52 episodes.” I’d rather say, “I will show up consistently.” I won’t say, “My episodes will average 20 minutes.” I’ll say, “My episodes will be potent and succinct but also thorough and unrushed.” 

I truly believe that the success of my work here on the podcast is not measured by the number of reviews and the number of stars and the number of downloads. It’s measured by you writing to me and saying, “This episode made a difference for me in this way.” It’s measured by how I feel when I can offer this podcast into the world. It’s measured by qualities and by impact more than by numbers.

So, if this is speaking to you, then I have something [laugh] so exciting for you. This is something that I came up with last year. I came up with it in response to a client who was having a lot of should thinking around SMART goals. She had a new initiative that she was beginning, and she was trying to pinpoint numbers. She was trying to decide how much, how many? She was asking those kinds of questions, and she was trying to schedule it all out in a time-bound timeline, right.

And she was encountering a lot of resistance. And, of course, when it wasn’t working for her, she was, as she’s been taught, as we’ve all been taught, oh, when the system doesn’t work for you, there’s something wrong with you. [laugh] There’s not something wrong with the system. There’s not something wrong with the approach. You must just not be blank enough. You just must not be disciplined enough. You just must not be dedicated enough. You just must not be smart enough.

So, in this moment where she is starting an exciting new project, trying to use a SMART, S-M-A-R-T framework, to set her goals, and encountering so much resistance, I helped her to pause, take 20 steps back, and realize that that manner of goal-setting just didn’t really work for her. And I shared with her it doesn’t work for me either. And I created, very impromptu [laugh], an alternative. I created an alternative to SMART goals, and that’s what I’m sharing with you here in today’s episode. 

So, instead of using the acronym SMART, I would love to propose that we create MAGIC goals. Do you love it? [laugh] It’s very on brand, I know. I will say my daughter, my older daughter, she—when I asked her if she knew about SMART goals, she groaned, and she was like, “Ugh, I hate SMART goals.” And I was like, “Yeah, me too.” 

And I said, “Well, I have an alternative, and it’s MAGIC goals.” And she said, “Ugh, Mom, tell me it’s not an acronym.” And I said, “Well, yeah, yeah, of course, it’s an acronym.” So, it is an acronym but I hope that you will find it helpful and inspiring as you are creating your goals for this new year.

OK. So, first off, the “M” in MAGIC goals stands for Meaningful. As you are setting out to do something new, as you are setting out on a new endeavor, why do you want to do this? What does it mean to you to accomplish this goal? While you’re at it, you might check and see is the goal personally meaningful? Is it meaningful to someone else? Is it meaningful to a boss or a friend or your trainer but not actually to you, or is it really meaningful to you? So, the “M” is for Meaningful. Why do I want to do this? What’s my reason? What will it mean to accomplish this goal?

OK. The “A” in MAGIC is for Affective. So, affect is vibes, moods, emotions. It’s the feeling side of our human experience, affect. So, make your goal affective. How do you want to feel as you are making this happen? How do you want the finished product to feel? What are the vibes that you are cultivating by working on and accomplishing this goal? So, the “A” is for Affective.

The “G” in MAGIC goals is for Growth-oriented. I talk about growth mindset a lot. Actually, my younger daughter and I recorded a podcast on growth mindset. I will link it in the notes if you haven’t yet listened to it. Any time we are doing something new, we will need to grow in some way, and it can be very helpful to identify the specific skills we’ll need to grow, the specific attributes we will need to cultivate, the specific capacities we will need to expand. Right? 

So, for example, there’s a—oh, gosh, am I going to say this out—OK, I’m going to say this out loud. I’m holding this lightly. But I have a goal that I would love to walk the entire Maryland portion of the Appalachian Trail on the summer solstice. I have this idea, this goal, that that could happen. So, I want to think about what are the capacities that I need to expand? Where am I going to need to grow in order to work toward this goal? And, right off the bat, I can tell you I’m going to have to expand my capacity for walking. I think it’s like 30 or 40 miles. 

Will you smile with me for a moment at how uninteresting the quantitative is to me? [laugh] I’m not sure exactly how long it is but it’s a very long walk. I know it can happen in a day. But I will need to expand my capacity for walking longer distances. In order to do that, I will also have to cultivate more and more space for walking in my schedule. That means I’m going to have to have better boundaries around my work, around the places that I can fritter away time. If I’m going to carve out enough time to walk many miles in a day, then I will need to expand my capacity for reserving that time. 

So, with this “G” in MAGIC goals, I identify the specific places that I’m going to need to learn, and try new things, and also encounter challenge and difficulty. I want to know as I’m beginning where I’m likely to stumble, where I will need maybe a little extra support. So, when I am orienting the goal toward growth, and I’m very clear where I will need to grow, I can better support myself and prepare myself. OK. So, that’s the “G,” Growth-oriented.

The “I” in MAGIC goals stands for Impactful. So, with “M,” Meaningful, I thought about what the goal means to me. With the “I,” I want to think about what does the goal mean for others? What does it mean for the world? What does it mean for my communities? How will the impact of me working towards this goal, how will it ripple out beyond my own self to help others? 

And for so many of my people, this is really motivating and inspiring. When we think about, OK, if I can grow in these ways, if I can cultivate these vibes and feelings, if I can go for something like this, it is going to inspire and help me to instruct, help me to help others in all of these kinds of ways. 

Now, it may seem—at first glance—it may seem that your goal is all about you. It’s not really about other people. But, again, I want you to think about the qualities, the vibes, the values that you are living, and what kind of example that shows to the people in your life. I want you to think about the places that you will grow and change as you work toward this goal, and how many lessons you’ll learn, how much wisdom you’ll glean that you can use to help other people. So, take a moment here to think about the impact that this goal will have on others, and you’ll have all the motivation that comes from the “I” of MAGIC.

OK, last but definitely not least, Cocreative. The “C” in MAGIC goals stands for Cocreative. My friend, we are never ever, ever doing any of this alone. We simply are not alone. There are resources to tap into. There is support to invest in. There are comrades, colleagues, coconspirators with whom to work. We are always cocreating our world.

And, so, when we look at our goals, not from an individualistic, “Well, it’s all or nothing; it’s all on me,” kind of way, when we look at them instead from a cocreative way, we can from the outset identify the places that we can get support, the places where we can collaborate, the places where we can work together toward a shared goal. Right? So, one, when you’re thinking about cocreative, think about other people. Would it help me to have a friend who also wants to hike the Appalachian Trail on the solstice? Yes, oh, my gosh, that would help me so much. I’m trying to convince my partner to do it. 

Would it help me to tell my trainer about this goal? Yes, it would help me. She’ll ask me about it. She’ll help me strengthen my legs. Would it help me to read on the interwebs blogs by people who’ve done this, see what they have to recommend and to say? Yes, that would be so helpful, right. So, off the bat, I can think of all of these ways to get support and to collaborate with other people as I go for this goal. It’s not just me. 

Here’s the other vital, vital, vital piece. We are cocreating with unseen forces. There is serendipity. There are happy coincidences. There are also unseen challenges, obstacles, right? So, when I remember that I’m being cocreative, I’m being open to a couple of things. One, I’m acknowledging the reality that this goal might need to shift and change, depending on what life brings my way. And, for me, preparing for that reality is comforting. It helps me to think, OK, if this kind of obstacle comes, then what will I do? 

It also helps me—and this is its own spell that I’ll do an episode on some day—to leave room for magic, to leave room for something even better. I don’t know. Maybe I’ll get some kind of solstice invitation that is extraordinary and miraculous, and I’ll want to say yes. OK. I want to be available for that. I’m always open to the luck and the opportunity that the universe brings me. And when I focus on this “C” of Cocreative, I leave room for magic. I make space to get help. I allow things to be a little flexible—not in a way that lets me drop the goal but in a way that helps me go for it. 

I realize I didn’t do the “M” and the “A” for this particular goal of hiking the Appalachian Trail in Maryland on the solstice, so let me do those really quickly. It’ll help us review the “M” and the “A” anyway. So, remember, “M” was Meaningful. Why do I want to do this? Because it sounds extraordinary. Because I have this one wild and precious life, and I want to make the most of it. Because I haven’t set a goal like this for myself in a very long time, and I’d like to feel what it’s like to go for it. 

And then the “A,” Affective, what are the vibes and values that I’m cultivating? Well, I’m definitely cultivating a focus on my physical wellness, right, and so this means, everybody, that if I have an injury, if I encounter pain, for example, when I start training to do this, I’m not doing it for the walk. I’m doing it for a commitment to physical wellness, and so I will take the steps that I need to take to keep going for that quality. I’m remembering this goal is here for me. I’m not showing up for the goal. The goal is in service of my becoming, right?

How do I want to feel as I’m going toward this goal? I want to feel vibrant. I want to feel motivated. I want to feel strong. And, so, when I have those ideas, OK, that—those are the feelings that I’m going for, then I can check in, and make sure is this feeling strong? Is this feeling—am I feeling motivated? 

And I can get support. I can get cocreative support. I can grow. I can orient my growth toward having a high-quality experience of achieving the goal—again, not just achieving it for its own sake but doing it in a way that is meaningful, that gives me the affect, the vibes, the moods, the values that helps me to grow, that has an impact, and that is cocreative in a way that is truly helping me to become who I want to be in the world. 

All right, my friends, MAGIC goals are Meaningful, Affective, Growth-oriented, Impactful, and Cocreative. I hope that for you, as for me, MAGIC goals help you to be really inspired and motivated to go for what you want. I hope that MAGIC goals feel expansive and creative and full of possibilities. And I hope, more than anything, that MAGIC goals help you to create a high-quality life for yourself, for your community, for all of us. We are all in this together. 

Thank you so much for listening. Happy, happy new year. Bye for now.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Mind Witchery. To catch all the magic I’m offering, please subscribe to the show, or if you want a little bit of weekly witchiness in your inbox, sign up for my Sunday Letter at mindwitchery.com. If today’s episode made you think of a friend or loved one, your sister, your neighbor, please tell them about it. We need more magic-makers in this troubled world. 

Like all good things, this podcast is cocreated by stellar people. Our music is by fabulous DJ, artist, and producer, Shammy Dee. Our gorgeous art is by the sorcerers at New Moon Creative. Mind Witchery is produced in conjunction with Particulate Media, K.O. Myers, executive producer. And I am Natalie Miller. Till next time. 

End of recording