A Spell for Owning Your Next Level

Leveling up anywhere is amazing.

In relationship, in career, in self-care.

But instead of feeling triumphant,

ascending to the next level often feels like

Uncertainty. Discomfort. And Fear.

This spell will help you recognize the signs that

you’re operating at Next Level Excellence,

and give yourself the grace and the resources

to truly own it.

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Mentioned:

Learn more and apply to attend my Luminous in Taos retreat at https://www.nataliekmiller.com/luminous.

Make Magic:

Feeling scared or out of your element

is a strong sign that you’ve achieved a new level.

Reject the fear of failure.

Allow yourself to try the new things.

If you gather the resources that you need,

you can go after what you want,

and make this level your own.

Transcript: A Spell for Owning Your Next Level

Natalie Miller: Welcome to Mind Witchery. I’m your host, Natalie Miller, and I’m so glad you’re here. 

Hi there. Welcome. I’m happy that you’re here. Ooh, I’m excited for today’s spell, a spell for owning your next level. But before I start, I want to say two things. One, I would love to remind you that there are transcripts available for these episodes. So, if you happen to be a person that processes better by reading, or you just prefer to read, you can go to my website, to nataliekmiller.com, and for almost all of the episodes, you will find a transcript.

OK. Two, I am leading a retreat to New Mexico next summer in the summer of 2022. It is called Luminous in Taos. We will be summoning our star power in this retreat. I’m—this will be the fifth time I’ve led a retreat in this particular place, and they are always magical. But I now find myself at a next level of potency and vision, and so this retreat will also be next level. 

So, if you would love an infusion of self-trust and wondrous, open, imaginative perspective, I hope you will consider joining us. It’ll be a very intimate retreat. You’ve got to apply to come, and applications will be open by the time you are listening to this. So, again on my website, nataliekmiller.com, in the navigation, you’ll see Retreat. Click there, and you’ll see what I am up to in the summer.

OK. Let’s talk leveling up. Let’s talk owning the next level. So many of my episodes are inspired by my work with my clients—of course with myself too. But this week, I had not one, not two, but three clients say something like this. Oh, I just feel like I’m on the verge of the next level or, oh, I just—I feel so close to this kind of next version of my life, this next step. 

And the reason they felt close is that they could kind of see it, that is, each of these people was accessing new opportunities. They were getting offers. Each of these people had a sense that, wow, what I do is really valuable, actually. Each of them were starting to—starting to—ask for more in terms of asking for more compensation or asking for terms of employment that better suited them, right. So, each of these people is sort of seeing what’s possible, and even beginning to make some moves toward that possibility. 

But none of them felt as if they were at the next level. And I want to spend a moment describing what this place is like because I have certainly spent a lot of time here, and I want to give a thorough description to see if perhaps you also find yourself here, right. 

So, at this place where we feel like we are on the verge of the next level, we are especially self-doubtful. And this can manifest in different ways. Maybe we are second-guessing some of the things that we are creating, or we are all of a sudden doubting our ability to actually execute or deliver the things that we are creating. 

Perhaps we find ourselves unsettled in the rhythms of our everyday lives, like, somehow, we need different things than we are getting, and so maybe a morning routine that worked before is either disrupted now or it’s not enough anymore. Maybe the space that we had carved out, or the rhythm that we had established for our work, all of a sudden, just doesn’t feel right. There’s often a disruption in just how we feel in our day-to-day life.

And also in this place, we are feeling more acutely aware of our needs. Some people are extra tired; just really, deeply tired. Some people, including me, find ourselves needing more support for our bodies and nervous systems. And since we are having increased self-doubt or second-guessing, many of us are also in need of more time and space and support in talking through the decisions that we’re making, or even talking through the actions we are not taking; we’re refusing to take. Again, this is a place where we are seeing possibilities and, yet, we sort of feel like, OK, well, in order to realize that, I’ve got to get to the next level. 

All right. So, this is the place that I have found myself a lot over the last year, and this is the place that these various clients were finding themselves this week. So, here’s what I told them, and what I want to tell you.

All of this doubt, this neediness, this “I’m not quite sure who I am; I’m not quite sure how to conduct my everyday life,” these are not signs that you are on the verge of a next level. These are signs that you have arrived. Welcome. You’re here. You are at the next level. 

And to explain this, I want to use a video game analogy. I don’t really play many video games anymore. But once upon a time, as a tween, I did, and I always think of the Nintendo game Super Mario Bros. when I am thinking about leveling up. So, let me explain.

Imagine this. Here I am, I’m playing Super Mario Bros., and let’s say I’m on like level 5. Over these many moons of playing, I’ve learned a lot about how the game works. I’ve learned that a magic mushroom will make me grow. I’ve learned that a sparkly, twinkly fireball will make me go fast. I don’t really remember how the game works but I think you’re with me.

I’ve figured out with my hands how the games work, and because whenever I am working on a particular level, I play it again and again and again, I have an idea of what to expect. I know, oh, yeah, OK, this is the hard part. But as long as I take a really—a long, running start, I can jump over that pit. Or, you know what, there’s like a secret stash of coins right up here in the sky, so I just got to remember to jump up there, and I’ll get some extra energy, whatever, right?

So, basically, because I’ve run the same level many times, I’ve developed understanding of it, comfort with it. I totally know what’s going on. So, let’s say I get to the end, I beat the monster, and now I’m on level 6. So, the world of level 6 opens up, and I’ve not seen this before. 

Let’s just say in this world, everything is icy. OK? So, I haven’t yet seen this but now I have. OK. So, it’s possible for the world to be icy. And as I maneuver in the world, the way that I am used to being in the game is not well-adapted to this new level, to this new place, right?

When I run, I go faster because the surface is slick, and when I try to stop, as I’m accustomed to, I can’t stop. So, my regular way of moving in this world isn’t working. I kind of need to adapt, and figure out a new way of just being in my body here, right? You can already see the parallels but I hope you’ll stay with me in Super Mario Land for just a moment longer.

So, the other thing is I know some things that can happen in the game. I know about these magic mushrooms that I need. I know about these coins that I can collect. But in this new level, I’m not quite sure where they are. I know that I can get them, but I don’t know in this world where to find them, and I wonder is this world different in that way too. Like, I don’t feel quite myself in my body here, so is it—am I going to have access to the same resources?

OK. So, also, this is the next level, and so some of the challenges are much more difficult than the other challenges I’ve yet encountered, right? I’m in my world of ice, and maybe, all of a sudden, I see a chasm way bigger than any I’ve ever encountered before, and I haven’t yet learned that, OK, in this icy world, it is actually totally possible to jump that, or I haven’t yet learned, oh, there’s a rope I can grab. It’s above the chasm. I just have to jump high enough. Or maybe, ooh, there’s a secret block or even maybe a whole cave of riches at the bottom of the chasm. I just have to dive down in there.

And so, basically, because I am at the next level, I don’t really know yet how it works here. I don’t really know the landscape. So, it makes complete and total sense that here I am, I’m at the next level. I got here by slaying so many monsters, five levels of monsters, and yet I’m insecure. I’m uncertain. I’m tired. I’m, quote, unquote, I’m dying a lot, right?

When we first access the next level in the game, oh, my goodness, we try and fail. We take chances, and they really don’t work out. The only way to discover those ropes to swing off of, and those caves of treasures, is just to try. And a lot of times when we try, it doesn’t work. 

So, returning to real life for a moment, I think when we imagine being at the next level, we imagine how it feels once we’ve mastered that next level, once we understand it, once we know it, once we are more comfortable navigating it, once we feel at home in it. 

I think we imagine, oh, yeah, that’s the next level. The next level is where I don’t doubt myself. The next level is where I ask for more money with complete confidence and certainty. The next level is where my life looks exactly the way I want it to look. 

But in order to achieve that comfort and confidence, a lot of trying and failing happens; a lot of feeling confused and uncomfortable and frustrated happens; a lot of discovering that strategies that have worked for us in the past don’t work at this next level; or discovering that what was enough rest or alone time or creative time, what was enough in the past is no longer enough. That happens too.

And all of this—discovering that what worked before doesn’t work; what was enough before isn’t enough—this contributes to our feelings of insecurity. It adds to the doubt and instability that we need to reckon with. And all of that takes an enormous amount of energy, so no wonder you’re so tired. No wonder your body is sore and asking for more support and love, for better food, for additional massages, right? When we are asking more of ourselves, of course we need more sustenance, rest, resources. 

So, the spell for owning the next level is, number one, recognizing that even though you are scared and you are tired and you are riddled with self-doubt, you are here. You’re here. You’re at the next level because if you were at the end of the last one, you wouldn’t be feeling this way. You’ve actually ascended. You’ve moved on. 

It’s not a sign that you don’t belong here. It’s a sign that you are here. So, that’s, number one, most important, is just acknowledging I’m here. I made it. Here I am. I’m at the next level.

Number two is allowing ourselves to try and fail. How else will we learn what this new level is like? How else will we learn what’s possible here? How else will we get comfortable here? We have to try. And when we try, we are going to fail. We are going to make mistakes. We’re going to test assumptions that are not correct.

All of that builds strength and awareness and facility. Like, it will become easier as we try. And, yet, to ask someone who’s already feeling a little insecure, a lot of self-doubt, to then be willing to try and fail, oh, my goodness, that is such a big ask. That’s such a big request.

So, a huge part of owning your next level, of claiming it, of declaring “I am here” involves investing in the support that you need to navigate it. Of course, you’re extra tired. This is a whole new world. You are tapping into and expressing parts of yourself that are tender that you’re just getting to know. You are discovering powers that are surprising and maybe even a little bit scary. 

I’m sure this next part is true. You have been operating at next level excellence. Like, if you really stand back and you look at it, you can see, huh, as I have played the game, as I have learned my lessons, I expect more of myself. I see more of what is possible for me, for what is possible for the world, and I’m moving toward that. And in so doing, my friend, you are expending more resources in body, in mind, in spirit, and soul.

And so, absolutely, accessing more support on all of those different levels is going to help you so much to do the necessary trying and failing, to do the necessary experimenting to work through the uncertainty and the frustration and the fear that you feel here. 

So, after you claim this next level—“Hey, I’m here. This is it. I know I feel uncertain. I know I feel scared. I know I worry I’m not going to be able to make this work. But that’s all a sign that I’m actually already here”—the next thing is to relentlessly ask yourself, what do I want? What do I need? What do I want? 

So, maybe I want to write this book. I want to start this podcast. I want to found this nonprofit. But that’s not going to fit into my level 5 life. [laugh] Right? That level 6 objective doesn’t fit into the life I’ve already created. I’ll need to make more space. I’ll need to get more support in order to do that. 

What do I want? What do I need? I want to feel secure. I want to act in integrity. So, what do I need? Well, maybe I need coaching. Maybe I need a coach to help me to work through my doubts and fears. Maybe I need support for my body. As I’m asking my mind and my soul to expand, of course I’m going to feel it in my body. Maybe I’ll be more hungry or maybe I’ll be more sore and achy. 

Maybe in order to really inhabit this next level, there are parts of myself that I need to accept, or there are traumas that I need to resolve. And, so, maybe I need somatic help or psychotherapeutic help. Maybe I’m asking myself to step into a next level of entrepreneurship, and in so doing, maybe I need help around my systems or around my marketing. I’ll need support here. 

I really want to highlight the need for support because when we’re in a place where we’re not so sure, and we’re self-doubting, that is a place where it can be really challenging to say, yes, I am investing in myself, in my vision and dream, in my body. The beginning of the next level finds you [laugh] wondering where the hell you are, and what the hell you’re doing; feeling unsettled in your everyday life, full of dreams and visions but also full of fears and doubts. And that is exactly the place where you can benefit from more help, more support. And it is maybe the hardest place to actually allow yourself to get it.

So, I love alternating these questions. What do I want? What do I need? What do I want? What do I need? What do I want? I want a coaching practice. What do I need? Coaching for my own self. What do I want? I want to write a book. What do I need? I need dedicated space and time to do that.

In my experience, at the beginning of a next level, we need so much more than we want to need. [laugh] We need so much more than we are comfortable needing. Our dreams, our aspirations, our goals, our vision has expanded and grown. But our understanding of what we will need—the support and the sustenance we will need to be able to realize that—has not grown, right? And that is something that we figure out as we navigate this next level. We learn how much we need to be able to do the things we want to do. 

So, the last thing I want to say is that next levels are available in all kinds of places, right? You can be entering a next level in your relationships or your dating. You could be entering a next level in your parenting. You could be entering a next level in your work. I talked a lot about that today. You could be entering a next level in your bodily health, in how you care for it and how you manifest in your body.

If you are drawn to me [laugh], I think you’re a person who likes to level up, and so you might find yourself in a next level in more than one of those places at a time. Wherever you find yourself, I hope you will remember the spell for owning your next level. 

Number one, I’m here. This doubt, this insecurity, this questioning of my worthiness, this tiredness, this confusion, this frustration that I’m feeling, all of those are signals that I have arrived. I thought I was going to look like Beyoncé striding out onto the stage at the next level. I did not realize that at the beginning, I’m just Mario sliding around, falling into pits. Good to know.

Number two, what do I want? What do I want for myself? What do I want for my family? What do I want for the world? Why am I here? What do I want? And, everyone, I find it helpful to think about what I want for the world. That sometimes helps me to tap into the collective in a way that is really helpful in encouraging me, like giving me courage to try and fail, to remember, oh, it’s not—it’s for me but it’s for all of us, right? 

What do I want? And then what do I need? What do I need? What’s the support? What’s the sustenance? What’s the space that I need to do all of the trying and failing, the experimenting, the delightful discovering, and the frustrating wheel-spinning that is necessary to get so very confident and courageous and comfortable at this level that I reach and defeat the monster at the end, so I can do it all over again?

I’m glad you’re in this with me, my friend. Thank you so much for listening. Bye for now.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Mind Witchery. To catch all the magic I’m offering, please subscribe to the show, or if you want a little bit of weekly witchiness in your inbox, sign up for my Sunday Letter at mindwitchery.com. If today’s episode made you think of a friend or loved one, your sister, your neighbor, please tell them about it. We need more magic-makers in this troubled world. 

Like all good things, this podcast is cocreated by stellar people. Our music is by fabulous DJ, artist, and producer, Shammy Dee. Our gorgeous art is by the sorcerers at New Moon Creative. Mind Witchery is produced in conjunction with Particulate Media, K.O. Myers, executive producer. And I am Natalie Miller. Till next time. 

End of recording