If you're cranky, I know why?
How do you know if you've outgrown A Situation?
And by “A Situation,” I mean:
- a way that you make money
- a relationship with a friend or lover
- a role you fulfill in your household or family
- a way you tend to be in your everyday life.
It's different for everyone, of course, but here's what I often see when I or my clients have outgrown A Situation:
A gif zoomed into a woman’s face reflected in a mirror saying I’m Just Tired And Annoyed.
Tired & Annoyed.
Because A Situation you've outgrown is asking way more from you than it's giving to you, and that's exhausting.
Because A Situation you've outgrown wants you to be someone you're not anymore.
And so being in that outgrown Situation is like wearing an itchy, ill-fitting, too-small garment.
Which is fucking irritating.
So you find yourself snappish, and blame-y, and complaining.
(You don't want to be so complain-y but hey it scratches the itch and you are so fucking itchy).
You are So Done, and yet you are too tired to make a change.
You are So Critical of everything and everyone, including - maybe even especially? - yourself.
Because being snappish and cranky and victim-y is not who you want to be in the world.
So, what to do when you've outgrown A Situation?
Tiny choice by tiny choice, disengage from it.
Minute by minute, begin reclaiming your time.
Conversation by conversation, refuse to play the role of the person you're not anymore.
Create more and more space for yourself to live and work and relate differently.
This is simple but not easy BELIEVE ME I KNOW.
It's going to mean saying No.
It's going to require holding boundaries.
It's going to need deeply rooted, firmly held values.
And it's going to depend on whole-self-love.
Here, it'll help to begin to believe these:
I'm allowed to change my mind.
It's okay to want more.
My world can evolve and grow with me.
I am allowed to be who I am.
I know from experience, with myself and with so many clients:
the more whole and fulfilled we FEEL in our love and life and work,
the more completely we are able to fulfill our purpose on this planet.
In this way, what's best for you is always, eventually, best for All.
I promise.
love,
Natalie