A Spell For Intensifying Your Glow
Cultural norms encourage us to diminish our light, to hide it, and filter it into its most benign form. But like a diamond, we are sparkly and multi-faceted contributing to our luminosity. We shine most brightly when we own and love and show all of the different parts of ourselves. This spell will help you nurture and embrace all facets of yourself for deeper levels of fulfillment and authenticity.
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Mentioned:
No Bad Parts book: https://ifs-institute.com/nobadparts
Walt Whitman, Song of Myself: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/45477/song-of-myself-1892-version
SoulCollage: https://soulcollage.com/about/soulcollage-method/
Ani DiFranco Overlap: https://anidifranco.bandcamp.com/track/overlap-7
Reconnect with, and feed, and reveal your inner glow at this summer’s Luminous In Taos https://www.nataliekmiller.com/lit
Get coaching, mentorship, and community for Sorcerous Entrepreneurs in Witchy Business https://docs.google.com/document/d/1g7cJjP6HvZe4YHRTQEhzGbIqDVhjv0j6rZ1xBqDjXCY/edit?usp=sharing
Make Magic:
To reconnect to your luminous glow, step into your wholeness by exploring the different aspects of yourself and embracing your contradictions. Support your journey of self-discovery and empowerment through intentional communities and experiences. Shine brightly as you honor and express all facets of your beautiful, complex self.
Transcript: A Spell For Intensifying Your Glow
Natalie Miller: Welcome to Mind Witchery. I’m your host, Natalie Miller, and I’m so glad you’re here.
Hello, my love. I am smiling to myself as I am beginning this show, because it's quite lofty [laugh] and, like, today I want to talk to you about my theory of personhood [laugh], which, I mean, I don't know. I don't know what else to call it. But I do want to talk about this foundational, fundamental way that I think about who we are as people, and how that conception helps me to help myself and to also help my clients to more fully self-express, and through that fuller self-expression to reach more profound levels of fulfillment.
So every time I host a Luminous in Taos retreat, which is my annual summer retreat to New Mexico, I present this idea. And I present this idea because the point of Luminous in Taos is to help retreaters to reconnect with and feed and eventually reveal their inner glow, their inner fire, their joie de vivre, their spark and sparkle.
And why do we need to remember and feed and stoke and reconnect with that inner glow? Because we are encouraged at every turn through all kinds of cultural norms to diminish our light, to hide it, or to filter it into its most benign form.
And if you live on planet Earth, you know just how that happens, right? You know that there is this idea that there are attention whores, and an attention whore is selfish, and vain, and always wants all eyes on them. Or you know that there are tall poppies. There are tall poppies, and you wouldn't ever want to be a tall poppy, lest all the other poppies feel terrible in your presence.
You've heard that nobody likes a show-off. And even though the world is full of people showing off [laugh], who seem to be actually quite successful because they are showing off, nonetheless, you, we—it's me too—have been conditioned to be afraid of doing that, conditioned to believe that we will attract criticism and haters if we do that, yeah?
So in Luminous, because Luminous is about whole-self-reconnection, whole-self-honoring, and revealing our whole selves in the world, I always begin by talking about how I believe that each of us is like a jewel, a gemstone. So go ahead and conjure one of those in your mind, a little 3D, let's just say, a diamond.
This diamond has so many facets, yeah? The diamond has all of these different sides, all of these different parts. And what makes the diamond luminous, what makes it glitter and sparkle is how the various sides catch the light. In fact, the more defined all of those different facets, all of those different sides are, the sparklier the gem will appear.
And I think the same is true of you and me and all of us. We sparkle and shine most brightly when we own and love and tend and show all of the different parts of ourselves. And, you know, very importantly, these parts are not always going to agree, yeah?
It's my favorite part of Song of Myself, of Whitman's Song of Myself. “Do I contradict myself? Very well then, I contradict myself. I am large. I contain multitudes.”
And of course, Song of Myself has Whitman going through and identifying with all of these different vibes, all of these different elements, all of these different parts. I think that's you, and that's me, too. We contain multitudes.
Do we contradict ourselves? We absolutely contradict ourselves. We can be fiercely independent, and also desire attention and admiration. We can be staunch feminists, fully aware of the beauty industrial complex, and we can love artfully applying eye makeup.
We can be homebodies and adventurers. We can be incredibly confident in some places, and so insecure in others. We are—and here comes like another metaphor—but we are orchestral. We are orchestral.
We have all of these different modes of self-expression: assertive and vulnerable and co-creative; dominant and submissive and switchy; grounded and bubbly and serene; cranky and complaining and giving and generous.
We have all of these different modes, all of these different instruments of expression inside of us. And the more we are able to love them and understand them and express them, the more deeply and deliciously ourselves we are.
It's funny, of course, Beyoncé and Taylor Swift both come to mind for me here, right? Taylor and her Eras Tour, The Eras which express all of these different modes, right? And, listen, even if they're just all characters and all performances, I do get the sense that they're aspects of her.
Or Beyoncé now with her country songs coming out, which, by the way, those may be the stickiest [laugh] Beyoncé songs I've ever encountered. One or the other, Texas Hold 'Em or 16 Carriages, is always in my mind nowadays. I awaken, and there they are. [laugh]
So Beyoncé showing us there's even more to me, showing us I grew up in Texas. Beyoncé singing in 16 Carriages as a woman who's been touring and famous since she was a teenager, and then also Beyoncé singing as a woman in the Small Town South, and it's delightful. It's bright as fuck. And that it comes to us after Summer Renaissance and its kind of futuristic vibe, and Homecoming and its HBCU vibe, and Lemonade and its—I mean, Lemonade is a whole jewel in and of itself, right?
I, and possibly you, find it magnetic, find it attractive that this orchestral person expresses herself in so many ways. And, for me, the allure, the intensity of that sparkle comes from seeing all these different aspects, all these different sides glitter.
So that's my theory. We are jewels. We have many sides, and the more defined and acknowledged and owned these sides are, the more fully we can express them. And the more fully we express them, the more we glow with wholeness, with integrity, with deep confidence and power.
There are lots of ways to nurture this kind of multiplex self-expression. Of course, one way is just simply in your everyday life, exploring your various interests and desires and even fears, yeah? I've offered it before, but I do love the question, “Who else am I?” especially when we're feeling a little stuck or stagnant in ourselves. That question, “Who else am I?” can help us to connect to some of those other sides, and therefore to enliven and to remember our light.
Another way to nurture this multiplex self-expression is through parts work, is through getting to know the different parts of yourself. So Internal Family Systems, or IFS, is a modality that helps us get to know and understand and express more parts of ourselves. I adore IFS, and I'm doing a lot of IFS with my therapist right now. It’s really profound, it's delightful.
Of course, the internet can help you to learn lots more about IFS. I do recommend the book No Bad Parts by Richard Schwartz. That's a great place to get a nice overview of and introduction to parts work.
SoulCollage is another modality. So I'm a SoulCollage practitioner. SoulCollage, it's a modality of self-exploration and self-expression, where we use images, collages that we make to get to know the various aspects of ourselves. I adore SoulCollage, both as a practitioner and as a facilitator of it. I always include it in my retreats, and it's a fan favorite. [laugh]
It's funny, I've been thinking like, ooh, maybe I should figure out a way to offer it virtually because it really is so powerful. And what I love about it is that because we're dealing primarily with images, it's very right brain stimulating. And speaking of our multiplicity, the right brain is so full of insight and wisdom and deep self-understanding. I love to draw that out.
So IFS, SoulCollage, exploring our desires and interests, asking the question, “Who else am I?” and then finally, like, really fundamentally exploring, trusting, believing this idea that the more we are able to express these various sides of ourselves, even and especially when they are contradictory, the more we do that, the more whole, the more full, the more alive and sparkling we are.
There's this Ani DiFranco lyric that I love from the song Overlap, and I think she's talking about relationships between people. But she says, “There is strength in the differences between us, and there's comfort in the overlap.” I think that's true inside of our own selves as well.
When we have these contradictory, even conflicting parts, there's strength there. There's nuance. There's so much opportunity for growth and for integration. And as we begin to see how the parts work together, how the parts overlap, there is enormous comfort.
That is a spell I've been casting for myself lately, each morning in my Time Witchery. I am saying, "As I tend all of my parts with love, I heal." And so, yeah, this glittering jewel, it is about how we show up in the world. It is about that alluring self-expression. And/but that glow, that luminosity comes from a place of deep integration, appreciation, whole-self, whole-selves-honoring love.
And, you know, here's the thing. The more integrated you are, the more integrity you have, and the more integrity you have, the more you glow. Maybe you've experienced this in someone, right? Think about someone you admire, someone that you really find lives, as much as they can, in integrity. Don't they glow? Like, isn't there just this luminous quality about them? I definitely see and feel that, and I wonder if you do too. I hope so.
So, as you may have heard, I am going to New Mexico this summer for a Luminous in Taos. You are so invited to come. Just go to my website, nataliekmiller.com, and you can read all about it. I certainly find it easiest and most enjoyable to get to know my selves in community and/or with support.
And so if that sounds appealing to you, I am often leading intentional communities of all kinds of different feminists who inspire one another to see and explore more of themselves. My current intentional community is called Witchy Business. It is for established feminist entrepreneurs who are more interested in people than profit, but also understand that we live on planet Earth, planet Earth is soaked in capitalism, and therefore money matters, and money is vital to our success and to the success of our communities.
So if that's a contradiction that you are navigating in yourself, in your entrepreneurship, you should absolutely come fuck with us. We are warm and witchy and so much fun. You can check the Show Notes for a little one sheet about Witchy Business if you'd like to learn more.
All right, my love, go out there or in there. [laugh] Catch the light. Thank you, as always, so much for listening, and bye for now.
Thank you for listening to this episode of Mind Witchery. To catch all the magic I’m offering, please subscribe to the show, or if you want a little bit of weekly witchiness in your inbox, sign up for my Sunday Letter at mindwitchery.com. If today’s episode made you think of a friend or loved one, your sister, your neighbor, please tell them about it. We need more magic-makers in this troubled world.
Like all good things, this podcast is co-created by stellar people. Our music is by fabulous DJ, artist, and producer, Shammy Dee. Our gorgeous art is by the sorcerers at New Moon Creative. Mind Witchery is produced in conjunction with Particulate Media, K.O. Myers, executive producer. And I am Natalie Miller. Till next time.
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