Feelings are like good haircolor?!
Oh my friends,
Tis the season for Big Feelings.
I read the news and I'm afraid.
I work and I'm HAPPY.
I miss my grandmother and I'm melancholy.
I stand in line and I'm antsy.
Last night at my daughter's dance showcase
I was all of the above.
A tiny, pre-K ballerina froze on stage
and I felt anxious.
Her teacher came out from behind the curtains
giant smile
loving hands
and the two started dancing together
and I burst into heart-ful tears.
I see that my own little dancer
is not so tiny anymore
and I feel grateful
but wistful
and when she walks onto the stage
I know she is scare-cited
and so I am scare-cited
and when she starts to dance
I smile so hugely my cheeks hurt.
*
Here's the thing about feelings:
when you really REALLY feel them,
they morph and move.
They're like good haircolor:
multidimensional
with undertones
and highlights.
When I allow myself
fully
to feel overwhelmed at the holidays,
I discover so many components:
nervousness
nostalgia
gratitude
worry
excitement
impatience
wonder
joy
sorrow
love
Overwhelmed shimmers and moves.
It's big, but it doesn't consume me
because I am allowing it to flow.
So
How do we allow feelings?
We feel them.
Which can be scary,
because some feelings are really big.
To feel feelings fully
without getting swept away
employ an observer.
That is:
watch yourself feeling feelings.
Notice how they affect your body,
and describe them:
nervousness a churning in the upper belly
excitement fireworks in the heartspace
sorrow like a heavy blanket over the shoulders
joy like sunlight in every cell.
Be curious and courageous
as you allow them to rise and fall,
as you watch them move and morph.
TRUST
that they will move and morph
when you let them flow.