A Spell for Letting It Be Easy

Real talk. Letting things be easy is actually incredibly hard.

Patriarchy, hustle culture, late stage capitalism.

All of these dominating systems benefit when

we act as though hard work and sacrifice

are the only ways we can prosper in the world.

Here’s a spell to help you build more ease into your life,

and to remind you how much you deserve it.

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Mentioned:

timewitchery.com/planner, where you can get a Time Witchery anti-planner to help you be intentional about cultivating ease.

Make Magic:

In order to let things be easy for yourself,

you have to remind yourself of two things.

First, that ease is possible.

And second, allowing yourself ease

enables your generosity.

Transcript: A Spell for Letting It Be Easy (coming soon)

Natalie Miller: Welcome to Mind Witchery. I’m your host, Natalie Miller, and I’m so glad you’re here.

Hello, my friend. So here is a topic that has been coming up a lot for some of my one-on-one clients, some of my friends, and also, frankly, something that I myself have been working through over the last couple of years. As we begin to do what we really want to do, as we begin to do what we love, what lights us up, as we free ourselves from expectations or structures that ask us to overwork or to be who we're not, right, things get so much easier. It's like there's prosperity and ease.

And though that sounds really nice and, you know, it is nice, it is also really scary. [laugh] It's like ominous. What I'll hear from my clients is a lot of, "I am just waiting for this to fall apart." There's a lot of, "This is a fluke, or I just got lucky. This couldn't possibly be sustainable." Right?

Here they are. They're doing what they love. They're living this whole self-honoring life, meaning that they are charging appropriately for their work, they're doing the work that really lights them up. Yeah? They're taking good care of themselves. They're investing in themselves.

And as much as it feels good, and it is yielding these opportunities and collaborations that feel really great, it's also this kind of ominous, scary thing. They're waiting—or I should say "we," because I have this too. We are waiting for the other shoe to drop.

So today's spell is a spell to let it be easy. And, you know, as always, the first place that I look, whenever there's fear or doubt, I always like to look first at conditioning, societal conditioning, yeah, because the dominating systems in our world really depend on our fear for their own perpetuating. These could be religious systems. These could be political systems. These could be financial systems, right?

The dominating systems are hoping that we will fall in line, that we will play it safe, that we will be conservative, right? [laugh] So, that is, we won't get our hopes up. We won't get super imaginative or innovative. All of those systems depend on us helping to keep them in play, or somewhere I read this week—I apologize, I don't remember where—hierarchies perpetuate themselves. And in order for the global hierarchies in our world to perpetuate themselves, we have to be afraid, and conservative, and looking out for ourselves and, you know, just basically conforming to the ideals that they set forth.

And what are those ideals for individuals? Well, one is hard, hard work as a virtue. Capitalism depends on equating hard work with virtuousness, right, because capitalism wants us to work as hard as possible. In fact, any dominating system wants us to work as hard as possible in service to that system, and in service of the faster, faster, more, more that that system asks of us.

So when hard work is equated with virtue, and also when we're told, like, from the beginning, that hard work is what yields success, well, then when we are doing the work we love, when we are investing our time and talent into what comes naturally for us, like, when we let things be easier, that is actually deeply countercultural, right? We're saying, hmm, maybe it's not hard work that yields success. Maybe actually my success comes from doing what I love, or doing what feels easeful, doing what lights me up rather than drains me.

I don't know that we are always like fully acknowledging how countercultural this is. And so when we do, I think it's easy to see why. As we start to enter into this prosperity, where we are doing the work we love, and loving our lives as a result, this goes against the grain of cultural messaging that says that success comes from hard, hard work. And so, of course, there's a part of us that's grown up with that, and that is seeing that message really every day.

There's a part of us that must think, hmm, this is not going according to the story I've been told, and so perhaps there's an ending to my story, or there's a twist or a turn to my story coming. You know, perhaps I'm having some kind of like Cinderella moment where all of this disappears at midnight. Perhaps the magic won't last. Perhaps this isn't actually sustainable.

What I think is so fascinating [laugh], so fascinating, is that we can see all around us that actually what is unsustainable is life under late-stage capitalism. It is simply too exploitative of humans, of our planet, of our resources.

Actually, success in the manner of late-stage capitalism is exactly what is destroying our planet, is what takes an enormous toll on our health, like, individually, collectively, globally, environmentally. Isn't that like [laugh] when you kind of sit back and go, oh my gosh, I'm told that the safest way to be in this world is to work really hard, and be really frugal, and save my money, or put it all into banks. And [laugh] actually, all of that is buying into the very system that is destroying us all.

So, conversely, when we are doing what we love—and I'll say, you know, even bigger than that—when we are living our values, when we're living into our values, even though of course there will be rough moments, right—because, as I always love to say, we still live on planet Earth, right? [laugh] Much as I wish I were a fairy godmother who could Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo you, I'm not, and I'm not that for my clients. I'm not that for myself.

And/but I have seen again and again and again, and I have felt for my own self that when we do what we love, when we do what we really want, though there might be some rough transitional patches, eventually, ease and prosperity do arise. We ourselves feel more easeful. We enjoy what we do.

We are no longer working ourselves to the bone or burning the candle at both ends—or think of just all the fucking metaphors we have [laugh] for overwork. Yeah? We're not doing that anymore, and a kind of ease and prosperity arises that actually is more sustainable, in which it's so much more likely that we can care for our bodies, and care for our families, and care for our communities.

And it is perhaps true that we are not socking away as much money into banks, but we are directly investing it into our everyday lives, and into our surroundings. Yeah? And this actually brings me to a second point.

This more easeful way of being, where we do what we love, we do what we want, where we are being whole human beings, as we make our way through this world, it can also evoke feelings of guilt and/or shame here on planet Earth. Because here on planet Earth, there is, as we all know, and as especially those of us with these big squishy hearts know, there is so much suffering. There is so much inequity.

Planet Earth is not an easy place to live, and we know that. And so when it is easy for us, even if we get beyond that feeling of that against-the-grain, countercultural fear that the other shoe is going to drop, we will then often deal with this sense of injustice and unfairness, a sense that, well, it's not OK that it gets to be easy for me when it's so hard for so many others.

And, you know, I actually don't personally want that feeling of injustice to go away for me, I don't, because I definitely believe, as Emma Lazarus said, and then Maya Angelou said, none of us is free until all of us are free. Yeah?

So this cognizance that, wow, I've found a way for it to be easeful for me, but I'm living in a world where it's not easeful for so many others, I think, better than feeling guilty about that or thinking, well, then I guess I should go back to it being hard for me, like, I guess [laugh]—you know, it's so weird.

It's like, everyone is suffering, so I guess I should be suffering too, and that will make me a good person. It's like, no, how about instead we say, OK, so ease is this great resource that I have, and so how can I sustain my ease as an example? How can I sustain my ease as a resource that I can tap into so that I can be generous with others? You see? Because the conditioning says, oh, you should probably self-sacrifice, get back in line, and get miserable too—which is wild, isn't it, instead of, OK, wait, no, you've found this more easeful path, like, broaden it.

Broaden it, and invite other people to walk with you on that path. Show the way, like, really blaze this trail so that other people can do it too, and maybe even help to clear other people's paths, because we are all in this together.

So here's a phenomenon that I just feel called to talk about. Many, many times, when we are frugal—and frugality is prized in our culture, isn't it? [laugh] Like, it's so bizarre. It's like make as much money as possible, and put it in a bank but, you know, be careful with your reckless spending [laugh], your reckless spending on ease, on wellness, on support.

I mean, the reality is we are all in this together, and we are all supporting one another, and we are always, each of us, we are voting with our dollars. And so what do you want to see more of in the world?

Do you want to see more art? Invest in art. Do you want alternative healthcare to be more accessible? Invest in alternative healthcare. Do you want more people to receive coaching? Then you've got to invest in coaching.

Remember, this capitalist logic says that we should get a good deal. We should spend as little as possible to get as much as possible. And that is individualizing, isn't it? Like, that is like every man—and I do mean man—every man for himself.

Whereas when I think about myself as a part of a community, and when I have the sense that I want all of us to have more ease, well, now I'm no longer looking for the best deal for me. I'm looking for the best deal for us. Oh my god, that like brings tears to my eyes. Could we just do that, my friends?

What would happen if we did that? What would happen if instead of feeling guilty about my ease and prosperity, I saw that ease and prosperity as ours? Like, I imagined that it could not be just for me. I endeavored to expand that as much as I could.

I in no way want to [laugh] imagine or claim that this is the key to unlocking us from the cage of hustle culture and late-stage capitalism and just so much fucking guilt. But I am hoping that when we discover that ease is a possibility—as opposed to grinding, hustling, working hard—along with that discovery is, OK, so let me exchange guilt for generosity. Let me take that inkling of like, oh, I wish it were this way for everyone.

And instead of saying, yeah, I guess I'll just go back to self-sacrificing and struggling, for me to say, well, let me see what happens as I get more and more generous. And then instead of feeling fear about the unsustainability of this way that is so generous and prosperous and easy, instead of feeling fear about it, let me feel hope about it. Let me get really creative about it. Let me invite other people into it too, because my prosperity is not of my making alone.

None of us are doing any of this alone. We have to live into these values of generosity and ease and mutual shared co-creative prosperity together. If I'm pinching pennies, and I'm trying to get as much as possible from someone who's helping me, for as little as possible, I'm not living into those values.

I mean, listen, I am so fucking grateful for every client who is taking the enormous countercultural leap of investing in themselves, in investing in high-quality support, in working with me. I am so grateful for them. I'm so grateful for you, because many of you have invested in working with me, in supporting yourself through working with me.

You help me to embody ease and generosity and prosperity, and I will help you to embody ease and prosperity and generosity. And then we can expand that circle more and more and more and more. And it all depends on this, this true Mind Witchery. [laugh] Like, I am calling you from the edge of the town of capitalism and the edge of the forest that is this organic human world.

That is, by the way [laugh], where I imagine my little hut [laugh], my little witch's hut. I'm right here on the edge. And if you are listening, and especially if you have been listening, then I want to invite you to live here too, to live out here on the edge. And together, let's make a different way of doing this.

Together, let's create this supportive, co-creative community that is bringing much better values to life, that is so much less willing to mindlessly exploit, that is so much less interested in pinching pennies, even though I know, we've been told, we've been told, and we can see examples of it too.

I don't, like, it's not just a message. It is the way huge chunks of our world are designed to work. They're designed to reward the penny pinchers. But again, that game (a) is unwinnable. It's unwinnable on our planet. It's unwinnable in our world. And (b) it sucks.

OK. So I actually have a little handful of spells here, spells for letting it be easy. And the first one is so simple, but I have to cast this pretty much every day for myself. It gets to be easy. It gets to be easy. I really do write this down in my Time Witchery often.

A second one: generosity is generative. Now, true generosity also has to extend to me. We're not talking about the exploitative, self-effacing generosity. We're talking about the kind of generosity that spills over. I'm generous with myself, and I'm generous with others; not I'm generous with myself, so I fuck others over, or I'm generous with others, so I deplete myself. But, no, true generosity is generative.

And then, finally, I am co-creating the world I want for all of us. I am co-creating the world I want for all of us. The values that I'm living into, the trails that I am blazing, the way that I am being in the world is a way that I want to be possible for everyone. It gets to be easy for all of us.

I will admit, these spells work better and better the more of us that are living into them. Please won't you join me? As always, thank you so much for listening. Bye for now.

Thank you for listening to this episode of Mind Witchery. To catch all the magic I’m offering, please subscribe to the show, or if you want a little bit of weekly witchiness in your inbox, sign up for my Sunday Letter at mindwitchery.com. If today’s episode made you think of a friend or loved one, your sister, your neighbor, please tell them about it. We need more magic-makers in this troubled world.

Like all good things, this podcast is co-created by stellar people. Our music is by fabulous DJ, artist, and producer, Shammy Dee. Our gorgeous art is by the sorcerers at New Moon Creative. Mind Witchery is produced in conjunction with Particulate Media, K.O. Myers, executive producer. And I am Natalie Miller. Till next time.

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